A Life That Could Be Better

Ladies and gentlemen,

 

We gathered today to honor and celebrate the 42 years life of my dearest twin brother, Alan Oh. He was known as the Insanely Handsome Area Director. 10 days after he passed his baton, he passed on at 10 July 2023. As I stand before you, I am still filled with a profound sense of loss, but also with immense gratitude the life I have shared with him.

 

From a young age, my brother exhibited strength, intelligence and resilience that defined his entire life. We grew up together in an abusive family.  We were left without financial support during our teenage years. Our parents left us to fend for ourselves. But my brother, Alan Oh, refused to resign to fate. He fought back. Hard. Ever since he was 15, he was working part time every weekend and school holidays. That gave him enough saving to pull us through our college years. I’m grateful, for his resilience and determination. Without that, we won’t be having of what we have today.

My brother always says this: “My university life is my and always will be the best days of my life.”  It was unthinkable that he was able to maintain Dean list for 4 consecutive semesters and ran a small business of bubble tea. I truly admire at his intelligence and resourcefulness. At university, he met his wife. Today, they have 3 beautiful children. My brother will be survived by them. He told me if one day he dies, tell his wife and children: “I will always be there for you.”

My brother, Alan Oh had 2 major regrets in his life. First, was a missed opportunity. He ran a decent bubble tea business during his university time. His friend’s dad offered capital investment to expand his business. He rejected it! He had all the technical and working knowledge he needed to make it successful. But he refused because of self-doubt and self-sabotaging that were casted as victim of domestic violence. “Sometimes he would jokingly said: “If I took up the offer, maybe today we will be the one who is the industry icon instead of Bryan Loo, the founder of Tealive.” There is some truth to that, I must say. A life that could be better if he took the chance. 

The second regret he had was living a life of resentment. Our life after graduation is not a bed of roses. We were saddled by many occasions of joblessness, emotional quitting and even fighting with our bosses. We know this is the result of resentment against the man who abused and abandoned us, but my brother projected that upon his career. That had cost him dearly. Paid with years of mediocrity in corporate life and financial distress. That stressed his relationship with his wife and children. My brother, I can feel you. It is time for us to let go. And I, decided to let go. Our life could be better, if we, chose to let go. 

His biggest disappointment…. He wished he could have grown old with you, his beloved wife, Dr Gan. He is always so proud of you, whenever he speaks about you. You have completed him. You build a life together that he never thought possible.  He wished he could grow old with you. My dear niece and nephews, his most beloved children, he wanted to bring you to more holidays, attend your graduation, your wedding and even hold his grandchildren. But alas, life have decided otherwise. His opportunity to do all these was completely halted.  But remember, my brother, Alan Oh, will be always with you all. No matter what happened in your life. No matter where you go. 

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing we could do to honor Alan Oh: Forgetting what is behind and striving toward what is ahead, we press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. Today, as we say our final goodbyes, we are reminded of the incredible legacy Alan Oh leaves behind. We are grateful for the countless memories, the lessons learned, and the love he shared with us. Rest in peace, my dearest brother. You will be missed dearly. Thank you for everything you gave us. We love you always.