Table of Life
It is said
that a great life is like a four-legged table. The first leg: healthy body, the
second: passionate, purpose driven life; third: financial stability and last
but not the least: meaningful relationship.
I wanted
that too. I worked hard, kept myself healthy, and did my best for my family.
All these efforts were to build the table I wanted—a table that signifies
success in life. Until one day…
In May 2023,
I was diagnosed with severe triple coronary vessel disease. Two vessels were
100% blocked, and another was 80% blocked. My heart function was at 33%. Who
would have thought this could happen to a young man of 42? I was a non-smoker,
non-drinker, and active in triathlons. Life seemed so unfair. I had to undergo
a heart bypass surgery, gallbladder removal, biliary duct repair surgery, and
tormenting rehabilitation sessions. The first leg of my life table, snapped.
To be
honest, I was terrified. I dreaded going under anaesthesia. Every time I opened
my eyes, something had permanently
changed on my body. I was greeted with 39 inches long scars on my chest and leg.
The moment I opened my eyes, there will be intense pain on my abdomen. Every turning
my body caused excruciating agony. I
relied on opium to ease my pain. I couldn’t wake up with passion or see any
purpose in life. I. Just. Can’t. The second leg of my life table came apart.
In those
dark times, medical and daily bills begin to pile up. My saving dried up. Tuition fees were due, electricity, water, and
internet bills kept coming. I still remember I was at ICU, third day after my
surgery, I received a call from bank: “Alan, your home loan payment of RM 2,310
is now due. Please make the payment immediately.” The leg of my great life
table cracked.
The news of
my critical illness spread among my friends and family. But alas, none of them
came. Except for my children, none of those who share the same surname came.
Not even a single call or visit. Their “Likes” on social media felt like
sarcasm. In those darkest hours, I felt isolated and disconnected. The second
leg of my great life table broke into pieces.
But it was
in those dark hours that I saw who and what were truly important in life. It
was an opportunity to rebuild my life table.
My true
family and friends came to my aid. Despite not sharing the same surname, they
came. With financial blessings to ease my burden. With prayers and hearts of
comfort that made me feel I was not alone. The encouraging words and loving
presence are elixirs of life instead of empty “Likes” on social media. These
are the friends and family I am grateful for.
The journey
of recovery was filled with physical pain and disappointments. But as each day
passed, something dawned to me - the joy
of resilience. Happiness centered on favorable circumstances will not bring us
resilience.
Indeed, a
stable four-legged table enables us to live a meaningful life. Yet, these legs
can crumble in the blink of an eye. I began to realize that it is who we sit
together with at that table of life that matters. These are the people who will
help strengthen our table when one leg is weak. These are the people who make
the moments of life meaningful. And to these people, we serve the best on our
table of life and share it with them. I chose to sit at the tables where I was
welcomed, valued and respected.
As I
continue to rebuild this table of life, I realize this: While the table gives
us a surface to place things and work, it is the chairs around it—the people we
share our lives with—that truly matter. Thank you for being with me in those dark moments. And I reserved a seat for you.
Thank you.
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