L3P2: Between a Boy and a Man

December 23. 2012. Columbia Asia Bukit Rimau. Labour Room 1.

 

I still remember that day when you were born. I witnessed your birth. You were covered in a creamy, waxy substance.

“Daddy, come. Here are the scissors. Cut her umbilical cord.”

I happily did that. There was some blood splattered on my face. Since then, I am a father of a beautiful girl. Now, 20 years later, you grew up as a young, charming lady. I’m very proud to be your Dad.

 

I strive to give you the best, my dear Hannah. Yet, I’m not perfect. There were many times I failed. But deep down in me, I know this: “I’m the standard that my daughter refers to when she chose her spouse. I am that standard.” This is the very reason that drive me to improve myself all the time.

 

My dearest Hannah. Maybe you do not know this. Your grandfather was abusive. Torn down his very own family. All these, because he selfishly refused to grow up as a man. Worse, his daughter, chose a boy for life of your grandfather’s standard. Our family curse, repeated. I was blessed, with your Mum willingness to journey together with me as I learn to be a man. She invested her whole youth years with me. Today, I just hope that she didn’t regret it, while I am still doing my best.

 

Men are biologically designed to focus on women’s body. To gain pleasure. To disseminate their genes. It is survival instincts. As such, boys will give you cheap attentions. Nice gifts, flirting, chatting hours over phones, spending money on you. Those are feel-good attention. I’m sure you feel great being center of attention. Enjoy them, my dearest girl. At the same time, be aware that these are easy attentions that a boy could give. It is not the focus of a man. Man upholds a special space for his lady.

A boy is looking for eye-candy. A girl who looks good on his arm so that he could show off to his so-called buddies. Once satisfied, the girl will be thrown off like a used rag. Whereas a man, is looking for lady of substance. Of course he will want to be stimulated initially by what he sees, he will stick around for a lady with intelligence and compassion. A lady who is secure with herself, as a man looking for a steady partner, not a playmate puppet. Man focuses on building a better life, so that his spouse, can share a better life together with him. 

 

A boy plays mind games, because he doesn’t know what he wants. He loves the adrenaline rush of chase. A man, is not interested in cat and mouse game, looking for clear sign of commitment if a lady is available and interested.

 

There will be time of disagreements. A boy will avoid uncomfortable conversations at all costs. Passive aggressive, lying, avoiding even physical violence to mask their insecurities. Man, is clear about his intention. He can have conversations with you on uncomfortable topics. He knows that the only way to build healthy, steady relationship is through honesty and truth.

My princess Hannah. Men and women are different. Women bears the full biological burden of baby. 9 months pregnancy, breastfeeding, baby care. Men do not need to go through this. Thus, allow yourself to draw in a man who would care for you, who would grow with you. Attract a man that will give you the steady space, so that you can build the life, career, business, family and legacy you wanted. It is not out of need, but out of your want, your desire. When you shift that, you will become very powerful Queen. Because you finally meet your King, that man to complement you. Now can you be safe and tap into your true power as a Queen.

 

My princess Hannah. I raised you up as a lady of substance. Today, I am very heartened to see you grown up to be a intelligent, gorgeous and compassionate lady. No matter how hard or how persuasive, tempting or enchanting a boy could be, remember this: Between a boy and a man, lies his responsibility. And his responsibilities become your destiny. Boy avoids his responsibilities. Man grows stronger with his responsibilities. Choose to settle for the best. For him, your King. For yourself, the Queen.

I love you x3,000.... your father.