L1P1 - Icebreaker: The Answer Lies In the Heart of Battle

The answer lies in the heart of battle.

I was born into a colorful family background. The family of my father side struggled with alcohol and drug abuse. My mother side was smarter. They were the one involved in the supply chain of drugs. My mum, was the prettiest mamasan at my hometown. I had visited numerous nightclubs during my primary school days. And I know some of my schoolmates' father's deepest secret. I still keep it, till today. 

I'm a survivor of domestic violence. Years of physical and emotional abuse had cast a long, dark shadow into my psychological well being. Nevertheless, I was blessed by a family who choose me to be part of them.  I grew up resentful and angry during my teenage years. I modeled my life against my father. Whatever he did, I chose to do the reverse. 

I was a top 10 students in my school during my SPM. But I had an emotional breakdown during my Form 6 days that pushed me to the brink of depression. I ended up with only mediocre STPM results. Fortunately, I was chosen to pursue my undergraduate degree in Universiti Malaysia Sabah (UMS). It was the best days of my life. I earned a carefree life, and as a bonus, a degree with a national young research award in Biotechnology. And I met the love of my life at Land Below The Wind. 

The answer lies in the heart of battle. 

5 years ago, I was severely overweight, bogged down with all the possible heart disease indicators. I felt so powerless, could not control myself and my health conditions was at its worst. On a fateful day, my ex-superior coerced into doing tasks that I felt at the borderline of being unethical, believed that I do not a choice but follow. I shared with one of my good friend, and he said:" Alan, you can make a choice." Those words woke me up from my deep slumber. I decided to reject my ex-superior instruction on ethical grounds. More importantly I decided to change my body, rejuvenate my mind and strengthen my mindset. A year later, here I'm, a much better version of me. 

The answer lies in the heart of battle. 

I attended Money & You training course in October 2016. I got to realized that I made bad decisions and hurt the people around me because my blueprint of childhood. It was shadowed by my abused experience and I decided to change it. I had a heart-to-heart talk with my father.  I came to understand that perhaps he was also a victim of the situation. He could have made a better choice, he decided to choose the easy way out. We came to agreement on how to move forward for the best of our family. It was a liberating experience. 

We all have a past. That past can define our future if we allow it. So, my fellow Toastmasters, in any situation, never give up the power of your choice. Be strong, be courageous, because the answer lies in the heart of battle.

"The Answer Lies In The Heart of Battle" - Ryu, Street Fighter 4 introduction quote

12 December 2018: L1P1 Icebreaker speech. Nielsen Malaysia Toastmasters Club