Undress. To take off one’s clothes. To be in the state of naked or only partially clothed. The women I had undressed taught me how to love.
May 2002, Hospital Sultanah Aminah, Johor Bahru. ICU
ward.
“The heart bypass surgery was a great success. With 3 and half heart veins blocked, it was a miracle that she survived,” said the nurse.
She looked tired, yet there was gaze of happiness in
her eyes. I wiped her face and I undressed her. It was the first time in my
life undress a lady. I saw scars of
abuse, torn by the man who supposed to protect her. Then I saw a vertical Caesarean
scar. It was meant to bring a baby boy to this world. It is the testament of a
mother’s ultimate sacrifice.
Stream of tears rolled down my cheeks. I could not resist but planted a kiss on her forehead.
“I am sorry Mum…. I am sorry.”
She smiled gently at me. “I am proud of you, my son.”
For coming days, I took the role as a nurse. I learn to undress her pain, sadness and
depression that tormented her for half of her life. I undressed my anger,
disappointment, misunderstanding and selfishness as a son. I learn to dress her with pride, joy and
dignity as a mother.
The women I had undressed taught me how to love.
24 January 2013. 11am. Washroom. Ground floor of a terrace house.
“Those unsightly stretch marks. Broken sleeps. There is only perfect Mum. My baby is crying, but I can’t even give him my breastmilk. I am such a failing mother. I no longer feel attractive. I am just an old hag.”
For any first time Mum without much family support, it
was overwhelming. She sat in the washroom, totally worn-out and her
self-confidence was in valley of darkness.
I undressed her. For the first time in my life, I learn to truly appreciate a young mother’s body. Engorged painful breast, sagging muscles and uncontrollable weight gain can easily make any lady to doubt her own value.
I was totally heart broken. I planted a kiss on her forehead. “We can fix this, darling. Let’s do this together.” 2 months later after an imperfect and clumsy care by yours truly, I was extremely proud to witness she glowed back to her former beauty with her new identity as a mother.
I learn to undress her doubts, anxiety, and weariness as
a new mother. I undress my toxic masculinity, social judgement as a “man” and
fake masks to impress. I learn to dress her with my imperfect comfort, care, and
calmness as a new father to build her confidence as a mother.
The women I had undressed taught me how to love.
2 days before Christmas, 2014. That was the day first
time I saw her. She was completely naked. My burning desire drawn me close to
her. She held my finger. I press my ears gently on her chest. Her heart was beating
fast. I could smell her body scent. Intoxicating. I could not resist but
planted a kiss on her forehead.
“Welcome my Princess, Hannah. The precious pearl of
our family. You are my Princess because I am your father, the King.”
For the first time in my life, I learn to truly
appreciate baby girl’s body. I learn to undress her in the same way that I
would carefully open a magic box sealed by angel’s kiss. I undress the love I
did not receive from my own father. I learn to dress her with inner peace and love
as a father.
It was said when you undress a woman, you entered her subconscious kingdom, her scents, her secrets and her treasures. Gentlemen, cherish the women who had undressed for us, because they had gifted us their best treasures from their life. Protect the women whom we undressed, not because they are weak, but because they are utmost important to us. And they taught me to dress up as a better man in their life.
The women I had undressed taught me how to love.
I love you all x3000.
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash
