L3P2: Do We Have Enough.... Money

All of our fortunes and misfortunes are predestined by Universe. Nothing in our mortal life we could bring to our afterlife, only our deeds. The grace of God is sufficient, place faith in Him, there is no need to prepare. Plus, the scripture clearly says that money is the root of all evil…. Is that, really so?

 

June 2023. Sunway Medical Center.

 

“Dr Pao, how much will be the cost of this heart bypass surgery?”

 

“In IJN it is around RM60 – 70k. Here, it may cost about RM80 – 90k.”

 

We came out of Dr. Pao’s clinic. My wife frowned deeply. The creases in her brow told me very clearly how concerned she was. I will never forget her worrisome look and that heavy gaze.

 

“Darling, do we have enough….. money?”

 

Deep down in me, I know, even if I were to exhaust all our emergency fund, it could barely cover one-third of the medical bills. Our emergency fund was thoroughly burnt out during pandemic. Sell our house? Impossible to receive the monies in 3 weeks. Sell our cars? That means we were losing our legs in Malaysia. How about subsequent medical bills? Rehabilitation? Daily expenses? Borrow from our friends and family? Common, Alan is a prideful man. He would not allow his wife go around to ask for monies.

 

“Don’t worry, darling. We have enough,” I tried to assure her.

 

Two weeks later, we received an SMS. “Dear Sir/Madam. Please be informed that your initial guarantee letter (IGL) has been approved by GREAT EASTERN (MEDICAL CARD). Should you need further clarification, please do not hesitate to contact us. Thank you.”

 

The heavy burden on my spirit was lifted. To the very least, I need not worry about money. I could focus on receiving the best medical treatment from quaternary hospital. I was saved from the possibility as “drop dead” case. In this time of trial and testing, my family was spared from further financial disaster. All these is because of a decision made 17 years ago…. Ya, 17 years ago.

 

I still remember the conversation that I had with my high school friend during our Chinese New Year gathering early this year.

 

“Alan, you are so shabby and stingy. You should drive a better car. Your MyVi is now a 17 year old car. It doesn’t fit your status now.”

 

“I’m waiting for a car that can fly, then I would buy a new car. But until then, this MyVi stays with me.”

 

Few weeks ago, I received letters from insurance companies. My tears streamed down my cheek when I read the letter. It was very emotional for me. My claims have been approved.

 

To my dear children, should you fell sick, don’t worry. Daddy will support you and get the best medical treatment. Daddy will protect you till you grow old. I had prepared your college education fees. Daddy had drawn up for you through insurance. Go and study whatever subject that you want to pursue.

To my dearest wife, I will take care of you, till the end of this life.  Should I depart before you, your days after are still well guarded. I will love you even from grave.

Yes, I will love you all even from my grave.

 

Ya, I know, I am not romantic. But all I know love requires commitment and sacrifice; love requires economic support. One of the most tangible forms of love is financial support. To me, a true man, must be able to carry responsibilities on his shoulders. Whenever my wife and children need money, I hope I can say: “I’m here. Everything is prepared for.” Even from my grave, I shall turn into an angel and protect all of you with my wings. That was the very reason I channeled my hard-earned money to insurance premium instead of a new car.

 

I’m very blessed. I made the right decision. It was a “foolish” decision for many. A new car is much more tangible than an insurance/takaful coverage that can’t be seen with naked eyes. But today, that decision to participate in insurance had protected firmly our family economic foundation that I built for so many years. Praise be to the Lord, here I am =, with my heart bypass surgery was a success. God willing, I may be granted another 15 years or more on my days in this mortal world.

 

No one wants a disaster or disease, but yet, no one knows when it will happen to us. Love your family, love yourself, love the people around you. Protect them, show them that you care, even if you are not around. Because life is precious, life is great.

Photo by Piron Guillaume on Unsplash

L3P2: The Adopted Orphan

September 1981. Noon. 

 

"I have a 6 months baby boy here. Would you like to baby sit him?" A pretty mamasan in her early 30s asked. 

 

Since then, I addressed her as Nanny. I stayed with her for 12 years. 

 

After I completed my primary school, I went back to my biological family for 2 years. Her granddaughter said: "You must call her Popo, (which means Grandma), not Nanny." Since then, I addressed her as Popo. 

 

11 years ago, I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to holiday with her at Taiwan. After the trip, she asked me, “Do you want to be my son, or my grandson?”

 

“Grandson.”

 

“Why?” She asked.

 

“If I be the grandson, I will be the eldest. The eldest grandson will be treated as youngest son. Double blessings. When my son is borne, he will be eldest great grandson, also the youngest grandson. Quadruple blessings!!”

 

Since then, I addressed her as Great Grandma, fondly as Taima.

 

Taima often reminded me on the medical “adventures” that she had with me. In 2008, she had a gallbladder removal surgery. I was there with her. In 2014, she was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer. I managed to get her Malaysia’s most authoritative surgeon, Prof Yip to treat her. In May 2019, she was down with serious stomach ulcer rupture. I managed to get her to Hospital Kuala Lumpur to have the best doctor to attend to her, Dr Yau.

 

“Alan, you have save me thrice.”

 

Thrice. Everything that comes in threes are perfect. Then the fourth came…

 

“Alan, something is not right. Taima is not eating her meals and she is sleeping all day long. Her cough is getting worse.”

 

“Let’s have a video call,” I said.

 

“Taima! Alan here. How are you? Chinese New Year is nearby. I will come and visit you ya! I want you to give big ang pows to my kids ya!”

 

No response from her.

 

“I bring to your favourite Japanese food restaurant, you want?”

 

Again, no response.

 

She was admitted to Pantai Hospital Batu Pahat. It was 2 days before Christmas.

 

The doctor came back with his diagnosis. Superbug infection. She was put on very strong antibiotic course for 10 days.

 

She often complained pain at her stomach. She couldn’t sleep. The pain was so intolerable, she often said: “Just let me go, I want to die.”

 

“Taima, my kids are waiting for your ang pow for Chinese New Year. You will be well very soon.” I tried to comfort her.

 

7 days after the antibiotic course, the bacterial infection was subsided. But Taima never regain her appetite. Two spoons of porridge, the most 3 spoons every 2 hours. Her tormenting stomach pain got worse. Severe water retention on her limbs.

 

“What can we do, doctor? Please help her.”

 

“These are often the symptoms of late-stage cancer patients. You can either stay in hospital and continue the dripping, or you can go home. There is no point for us to diagnose, as it will inflict more pain. We have done our best.” It was doctor’s code – prepare for her death.

 

The hardest choice requires the strongest will. We made the hardest decision to take her home. Hour by hour, we witnessed her life withered away. She could no longer swallow. Her breathing was getting slower.  That is the hardest part of palliative care. To experience her life taken away minute by minute.

 

“Taima, don’t worry. We will take good care of ourselves. Follow the light,” I told her. That midnight, 9 January 2023, she departed to Land of Eternal Serenity. We hosted her funeral exactly in the way she instructed us. This Chinese New Year my kids did not receive ang pow from her. This Chinese New Year, I could not bless her the fruits of my labour. I do miss her. I miss you, Taima. Very much. I was an orphan, but because of you, I have a family.

 

My dear friends, I urge you, I urge you to cherish the time you have with your parents. Because we never know how much time we have. Visit them. Call them. While we can. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to say goodbye. While we grief for our loss, we strive to create a better future for ourselves and people around us. Perhaps this is the best honor we can give to our departed loved ones. And perhaps this is the best way to grief.